One week ago felt so damn awesome and now the awesome feeling has somewhat faded away with the spectre of booking in to OCS tomorrow. I don’t know what’s in store for us but same as ten weeks before, we’re all in this together, so we’ll all get through this together.

From next week onwards for the next nine months our limits will be pushed and tested and brought to a new level. And I will miss you very much :( But don’t worry! Stay strong :)

If NSPortal isn’t lying - 595 days left oh god! 74 days have passed, a good ten percent! May the remaining time wearing green be full of learning and experience, and not lamentations and ailments.

:)

Since I have no more army computer for the time being I’ll pen down my thoughts here. Good riddance to the UMPC anyway, it was lousy and died on me for about a month during which I leeched around others’ computers.

This week will consist of nothing much but mundane activities. Since most of the training in BMT is already over, we will just rinse and repeat - drills, graduation parade rehearsals. And returning all the stuff that we aren’t supposed to bring home from Tekong cause it doesn’t belong to us.

Along with all the stuff I have to return, there’s a lot I’m going to leave in Tekong, but a lot I’m bringing home with me.

At the start of BMT, I was like, please let this be over soon. This bullshit of 9 weeks, and the following one year and ten months. Please let it be over. But now that it’s drawing to a close, somehow I don’t want it to be over. One week is too short to say goodbye to nine, nine weeks of what was the best and the worst. Nothing can really replace going through good stuff and bad stuff with a band of brothers, and that’s why buddies that are together for a long time stay together for a long time.

I’m leaving a lot of things behind on Tekong. I’m leaving behind a young, immature boy. I’m leaving behind hurts and sorrows. I’m leaving some weakness behind.

I’m bringing home strength. Friendships. Knowledge, both about the military and about life. Most of all, I’m bringing home a more grown-up me. I don’t claim that I am completely mature after merely 9 weeks when there is so much more of army, and so much more of hardship in life to go through. But every experience shapes you, and this one has in turn shaped me.

Leaving here makes me think of a lot of things about going away, about when I left school for the last time (University doesn’t count as a school IMHO). About my dearest friends leaving me. About leaving important places in my life, like home. My loved ones leaving me, or even myself leaving to go overseas. Thinking about death. And all of that makes me slightly scared.

That’s us. Humans. We can’t deal with leaving. But we all got to leave, someday, so I suppose I’ll do what good I can while I’m still here :)

Haha I’m not supposed to smile (:

gotta find a way out maybe there’s a way out

As I’m standing here, and you hold my hand, pull me towards you,

and we start to dance,

all around us, I see nobody, here in silence,

it’s just you and me <3

NOT WHAT IS CONVENIENT.

Victory belongs to those who persevere.

After these 16 days, I have mixed feelings about being in green. It’s not all rosy, but it’s not all gloomy. There are things to look forward to every day, like lunch, dinner, bathing, and getting rest. It’s not easy, it’s been difficult, especially since I’m still struggling with my fitness after a long period of inactivity.

But I think in 16 days, there has been enough to make me change. I think I’ve become more independent. I’ve become a bit more mature. I’ve lost a bit of childhood innocence and carefree attitude. I’ve become so much more serious and sullen.

Most of all, I think I cherish the things and people I love more. So much more. And I want to protect them to the best of my ability.

(via starryglow)

I don’t remember you ever staying out this late.

I don’t remember that we had vegetables in the fridge. We had ham, too.

I don’t remember the sounds of your voices.

I don’t remember why you call me your friend. Not at all.

I don’t remember the words I used to swear by.

—-

It seems as if… there are so many of them. So many things we forget.